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Working at sex sounds so clinical to me. I've been married 28 years and we both have grown up but don't think I could work at it if I had to. |
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The work isn't at the sex itself. The work is to find a way that neither partner feels shamed or rejected. That is the hard part. The work is for two people to find a way to speak to each other about difficult matters. How can we feel heard in our position instead of feeling blamed? How can we listen to each other without thinking more about what is being said than how we will counter? How can we look for WHAT IS RIGHT about what he says instead of what is wrong about it. That is the kind of work that's needed. Not, move your thumb counter-clockwise. |